GM: Character name?
GM: Kvothe, I like it. Sounds rural and strong. So where were you raised Kvothe? Where you a blacksmith? Farmer? Shepperd? Squire? What skills have you developed?
KVOTHE: I have skills at just about everything as I was raised by traveling performers. Since traveling performers have such a wide assortment of skills I have become expert at all of them.
GM: Huh. Um, ok. Alright, I will grant that as a travel you probably have woodcraft, lore, performance, and many other skills, but you can’t really be a master of all skills. What about social and abstract skills like court etiquette or mathematics?
KVOTHE: My mother was royalty. She taught me all social and educational skills. My parents are both highly intelligent and well learned, I have had an education that surpasses that of kings.
GM: Huh… Ok. Well, at least you don’t know magic. There is magic in the world I am building, so there will always be more to learn.
KVOTHE: Nope, at one point we picked up a traveling magic guy and he taught me all the basic principles of magic.
GM: Ok. Now listen. Role playing is about discovery, learning, camaraderie. It is the declaration of the characters nature through his actions and choices. But mostly, it is about overcoming adversity through limited resources. It sounds like you have more skills than the next 100 people combined. This really isn’t going to be very interesting if you already have all the skills necessary to handle any real situation. Besides, no one is smart enough to learn every skill they are even slightly exposed to?
KVOTHE: My Intelligence is basically immeasurable. I can learn a new language in half a day. I will pick up new skills in hours that might take others months to master. I can split my mind and think about multiple things at once. I can make intuitive leaps that Sherlock Holmes would envy. I have the mental plasticity of silly putty and the mental strength of steel. Oh, also I have eidetic memory. Furthermore, my will is limitless.
GM: Ok, I hav no idea how I am going to write an adventure for you. I mean, to even start, you would have to have some crazy disadvantages to put you within the realms of the mere mortals around you. No legs and blind for starters, we will have to think of some additional ones.
KVOTHE: No disadvantages, I am perfect in every way.
GM: No, I don’t think you get it. If you have a perfect character, unless you do something really clever, you end up with really boring “Mary Sue” type adventures. I need disadvantages so that your perfect character can face diversity.
KVOTHE: Ok fine. I will take a physical disadvantage.
GM: Glad you are on board! What is it? Leprosy? No arms? Brain in a vat?
KVOTHE: I am only a teenager.
GM: Ok, I was thinking a little bigger than that. The thing about being a teenager is that you don’t stay that way for long. You are still going to grow up and become the greatest man to ever live, it is rather pre-ordained with the characteristics you have given yourself. Lets add some social disadvantages.
KVOTHE: (After some though) I am arrogant and hotheaded.
GM: Damnit Kvothe! Wait, sorry. Sorry. I apologize for that outburst. Ok. Ok. I was kind of just including that by default under the teenager thing. Maybe something a little more defining, an actual fault that can’t be played off as a virtue in many situations. Maybe you have bloodlust? Or are neurotic and paranoid? Oh, maybe you are a coward!
KVOTHE: Nope, I have no social faults.
GM: Are you sure? Ok… I mean maybe it isn’t a social thing, you need more disadvantages.
KVOTHE: (reluctant) OK, fine. I can’t hold on to money. Anytime I amass any amount of funds, I will loose it rather quickly.
GM: Seriously? That’s it?
KVOTHE: That’s it.
GM: This is going nowhere… Ok, lets shelve the mental/skills stuff, lets talk about you physically.
KVOTHE: I am the strongest. I am taller than almost anyone I meet. I have the highest dexterity and coordination possible. I have the endurance of a marathon runner. I am so attractive it hurts. My hands are strong and powerful. I would like you to mention that very often in this adventure, mention my strong hands over and over again, so the other players know just how strong I am. I have a gaze that can stop a man in his tracks. Also, never fail to mention my fair and beautiful skin. Don’t forget my piercing green eyes, which turn gold when I am passionate. My penis is so big that…
GM: By the gods you are an ass.